Tag Archives: TTC

Mother’s Day: Another Reminder of Your Infertility

imageI am a fan of holidays. While they can be cliche, I like the idea of setting aside a specific day to commemorate someone or something. All of these National Margarita Day and Happy Hangover Day (I swear it exists-look it up) may take it a step too far but nonetheless serve as a reminder to take a step back, acknowledge all of your blessings, and celebrate each day.

With that said, Mother’s Day can be another reminder of what you aren’t and don’t yet have. As if all the aisles of Hallmark cards and “Mom life is the best life”  mugs aren’t enough to handle, there’s this whole day carved out to celebrate mommy-hood. It’s a reminder of your longing to rub a baby bump or rest a newborn on your chest, as you waft in that new baby smell. It’s a reminder of something that comes so easy for many, and taken for granted by some. It’s a reminder of the one thing missing to make your heart whole and a seemingly unattainable dream. It’s a reminder of your struggle, the bruises from PIO (Progesterone In Oil) shots, the countless appointments, the ups and downs, tears and pain that is your present.

But, my dear friend, it’s also a reminder of your future. It’s a reminder that one day you may be rocking your sweet child to sleep.  It’s a reminder to keep your head up and keep at it. It’s a reminder that someday you might become a mom and you will have a special and unique outlook-you will cherish every moment, every milestone, everyday because you know what it took to get there.

And while I like to look through rosey-colored glasses even that might not be a reality for some.  So, this Mother’s Day, and always remember that not everyone is fortunate enough  to ever get the chance to celebrate.  Choose your words wisely.  “Maybe you’ll be a mom next Mother’s Day-are you trying?” And “You don’t know how lucky you are-I can’t even remember the last time I was able to eat my meal at a restaurant” hurt.  Btw, biatch you’re the one who doesn’t know how lucky you are (oops did I say that out loud 🙊).

Like all woman who are fortunate enough to be called momma, tomorrow I will revel in the bliss of sleeping in, savor breakfast in bed, and cherish homemade gifts. I’ll probably post on social media a picture of me and my mini.  However I will never forget that there are many women still on their journey to motherhood whose hearts are aching and whose smiles are hiding months, even years, of pain.

Make or Break Your Bank & Love Tank


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Photo Credit 📷 @http://mmaler.com

Infertility is both financially and emotionally draining. Even the strongest of relationships are likely to endure a rough patch or two during the struggle to conceive. It can make or break you. As they say, though, if you make it, you’ll come out stronger in the end.

Money is a stressor in any marriage or relationship.  Combine that with endless hours on the phone with the insurance company and countless repetitions of your saga to a representative and you’re bound to be exhausted.  Even with the best coverage, you’ll probably incur some out-of-pocket expense.  Some of the procedures and/or medicines may be denied.  This happened to us in the beginning of our journey.  The insurance company wouldn’t cover my husband’s medications.  Because they were for fertility, we ended up basically paying a second mortgage for quite a few months until we could change policies.  Worse yet, are those couples who don’t have fertility coverage at all or have exceeded their maximum coverage.

It’s imperative to do your research and find out what your fertility coverage is as soon as you’re referred to a fertility specialist.  I’d also recommend going here 👉🏻 http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/insurance_coverage/state-coverage.html#Connecticut to see if and what your state mandates.  Connecticut, for example, has a state mandate that allows lifetime coverage for 4 cycles of ovulation induction, 3 Interuterine Insemination (IUI) procedures, and 2 In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) cycles.  Of course, there are caveats such as age and length of time you’ve been enrolled.  For example, at the time, I carried insurance for my husband and I, which was through the Board of Education.  I assumed this meant that it was publicly funded and therefore followed the state mandate.  However, the city’s insurance was in fact private and only one of the three plans offered included the state mandate for fertility coverage.  Naturally, open enrollment wasn’t for another few months, but I guess as luck would have it, time was on my side.  I was able to change coverage wellllllll before our IVF cycle.  I was concerned that while I still had the same insurance company, since I changed plans in less than a year, the state mandate might be null and void.  The HR representative didn’t know the answer for sure, but said she’d look into it.  She then (sitting at a desk with her children’s annual baseball pictures lined up behind her) tilted her head and said, “But really, in the grand scheme, what’s another year?”  Note to all:  NEVER say what’s another year, another month, another week, another day, another second to a woman yearning to bear a child, especially when you have your own brood to go home to and snuggle.  Shame on her.

I digress, but honestly all of those doctor’s office phone calls, battles with the insurance company, dead-end encounters with HR can wear you down.  It’s like having a part-time job on top of all of your real responsibilities.  As if that’s not enough, the emotional stress sets in.  It’s easy to fall into that rut of sadness and to distance yourself from those closest to you, even your significant other.  The burdens of infertility can put a strain on your love life.  There can be a disconnect caused by the “He doesn’t get it” and lack of drive because “What’s the point?~We’re not getting a baby from it”.

When you get to that point, it’s important to step back and re-evaluate the situation.  Yes, you’re overwhelmed and feel like life is being sucked out of you, but you are also going through this for a reason.  The both of you love each other, so much so, that you want to create something amazingly beautiful together.  You must remember, that while his pain may be different, he is still hurting in his own way.  And it’s like pulling a rubber band-the more you pull away and push him away, the sooner it’s bound to break.  Think back to the way you were before you tried to conceive and make that your final destination.

In the end, only the two of you can understand what’s going on in your lives.  Only the two of you, can support one another’s needs.  Only the two of you can make that most special gift, that is uniquely yours…and in the end, the two of you will be stronger as individuals, but more importantly as a couple.

Name or Number

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I’ve touched on it but I don’t think I’ve done due diligence in singing the praises of our fertility group. Despite Connecticut being small in size, there are quite a few options for infertility clinics; New England Fertility just happened to be the perfect fit for us.

Coming to that decision was rather easy. After my OB gave me the initial news of our diagnosis, she offered two options that she’d refer us to. One of which is our local hospital clinic and the other being Dr. Gad Lavy of New England Fertility.

While both were statistically as effective, it came down to whether we wanted to be a name or number. Private practice offers that luxury of a more intimate and personalized experience, much like shopping local~and we all know we are big proponents of shopping small in this house 😜💎. I just know for us, especially given my husband’s anxiety at that point, opting for private was a no-brainer. Then after meeting Dr. Lavy and his staff at our initial consultation it was only further substantiated.

Obviously, I can only speak to our experience for opting to go private and have nothing to compare it to. We never felt like cattle being schlepped along this path, but rather always felt like everyone’s main concern at any given time was Mike and Morgan. Whether it was scheduling our next appointment, getting bloodwork taken, or undergoing a procedure, we were always met with a welcoming smile. Dr. Lavy and the two nurses we worked with primarily, Jen and Susan, were professional, but also down-to-earth. We never felt uneasy about asking questions or for any clarification. Afterall, it felt like we were going in a million different directions, so naturally we’d think of things afterwards. I always felt free to pick up the phone to ask the nurses anything. They seemed vested in their jobs, but they also truly seemed vested in our best interest. Getting us our baby was a united goal.

Specifically, when it came to the whole IVF process, Dr. Lavy and the NEF staff were beyond compare.  I know it’s easy to say in hindsight because our first attempt was successful, but truthfully I was never scared of the process itself because I knew I was in good hands.  The nurses were phenomenal during monitoring appointments to explain the follicles and what they were looking for.  I always felt reassured leaving those appointments and loved their emphasis on “quality over quantity” {especially when you hear of so many cycles being cancelled due to Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS)}.  They also offered a patient portal in which the results were inputed promptly.  I found it helpful to have that information right at my fingertips rather than having to log it myself for my own records.

At the point of retrieval and transfer, Dr. Lavy was amazing.  He has a great cool-as-a-cucumber persona that puts you at ease, as a patient, and his bedside manner is top-notch. Therefore when Dr. Lavy recommended a day 3 transfer of three embryos, we barely flinched because we had full faith in his judgement.  The embryo transfer was such a special and intimate moment and I felt like Dr. Lavy recognized and respected that experience.  The environment, the aura, everything about that day just seemed magical to me.

There came a point when we were seeing Dr. Lavy and his staff more frequently than our closest family and friends.  There also came a point when we became more than a name to one another and more like family.  Time goes by so fast and we’re all so caught up in the craziness of our day-to-day lives, but just like with real family, there’s an unspoken bond and gratitude that we have for our fertility family.  To everyone at NEF, we are forever indebted to you all and to anyone in need of a fertility specialist, here is their name & number 😏!

http://m.nefertility.com

50 Shades of Infertility


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Sorry Ladies! There is no Christian Grey in this one. Rather this is about the emotional gamete you run when struggling with infertility.  Actually, I’m pretty sure these are things we feel when battling anything really. Like all grief, there are stages in which one feeling is more prominent than another and then there are those times when you have a myriad of emotions all in one instance. Regardless, it’s important to recognize these emotions and to learn how to cope with them.

I’m new to this whole blogging thing and social media genre, but I’d highly recommend following @missconceptioncoach on Instagram. This is not a plug by any means and I have no affiliation.  I really don’t know much about her, other than what I’ve read on her IG.  She seems to offer some great strategies for enduring infertility and I would’ve loved to have had this resource when I was in the midst of our journey.  You can also probably make some great connections among her following.

With that said, it’s also nice to just read that another person has been where you’ve been in some fashion.  There’s a relief in knowing that you’re not the only one who feels that way.  This is your validation that it’s okay to feel any and all of these feelings.

  1. D E N I A L                                                                                                                       It’s a pretty standard first step in any grieving process.  Denial is a real thing; you just don’t want to believe that it’s real.  You’re in denial that this is happening.  Maybe you should get a second opinion.  You’re in denial that it could be true.  For me, the denial was so real in the beginning that, even knowing there was absolutely no sperm, I still symptom spotted.  I still thought maybe by some divine intervention I could still possibly get pregnant naturally.   Confession: From time to time, even now, I still think this.
  2. A C C E P T A N C E                                                                                           There comes a point that you then accept the circumstances.  The sooner you get to that point, the closer you are to your final destination.  Duly noted: easier said than done.
  3. S A D N E S S
  4. A N G S T
  5. S H O C K
  6. S H A M E                                                                                                                   Even though 1 in every 8 couples is infertile, there is still a stigma. Hence the shame.  You’re ashamed that you’re the 1 in 8.  You’re ashamed that your body is failing you.  You’re ashamed that you’re not “female or male enough” to reproduce naturally.  Once you rid yourself of that shame, there’s a whole new world awaiting you.
  7. H O P E L E S S N E S S
  8. P R E S S U R E
  9. M O U R N I N G                                                                                                 You’re mourning a loss.  Many infertile couples endure literal loss, which is a pain I cannot even imagine.  Yet without miscarriage, there is mourning of a different type.  You’re mourning the loss of conceiving the way you’re “supposed to”.   You’re mourning the loss of something you’ve never even had.  You’re mourning the loss of your plans and dreams of how starting a family would be. You’re mourning a childless life.
  10. D O U B T
  11. H O P E
  12. J E A L O U S Y                                                                                                             You’re jealous that your friend is pregnant and you’re not.  You’re jealous that so-and-so just posted on FB that she’s expecting again and you’ve never even seen a positive pregnancy test yet. In fact, you’re even jealous of strangers.  You’re jealous of the lady in front of you at Starbucks rubbing her cute baby bump. You’re jealous of the girl registering at Babies ‘R Us.                                                                                                                                                                                         This was a hard one for me.  I’m not a naturally jealous person.  To be blatantly honest, there is not much for me to be jealous of because I have such a wonderful life.  I have an amazing husband. At the time, I worked in a rewarding field.  I’m blessed with the best family and friends around.  But there were many times that jealousy got the best of me.  I’d say, “I’m not jealous of her.  I just wish it was me.”  Whatever way you twist it, that’s jealousy.
  13. B I T T E R N E SS
  14. G U I L T [because of 12 & 13]                                                                      Then you have this constant feeling of guilt when you feel jealous and bitter.  You feel guilty because you love your best friend and you want to be happy for her.  You feel guilt for being a bad person and for being so selfish.  You feel guilty that your “expecting and mom friends” go radio silent about baby/kid stuff when you walk in the room.
  15. G U I L T  because of your G U I L T                                                             Then you feel guilty for feeling guilty.  It’s not that you’re not happy for them.  You’re just sad for yourself.  Anyone is your position would feel this way, right? After all, we are only human.
  16. S E L F -P I T Y
  17. D E S P A I R
  18. C A U T I O U S  O P T I M I S M
  19. H O R M O N A L and not just when it’s 💉 time.
  20. S T R E S S                                                                                                               You’re stressed if you’re making the right decision.  You’re stressed if you can manage the injections, doctors appointments, failed attempts.  You’re stressed if you can afford it.  You’re stressed at home.  You’re stressed at work.  You’re stressed all. the. time.
  21. H E A R T B R O K E N
  22. G R A T I T U D E                                                                                                           It could always be worse and I had so much to be grateful for. Even though it felt as though my world was shattering sometimes, I just had to look around me to be reminded of all that I am blessed with: my husband, family, friends, health, happiness. The list goes on, but it’s important to step back sometimes to not dwell on the one thing you don’t have, so you can better appreciate all the good you do have at that moment.
  23. A N X I O U S N E S S
  24. C H R O N I C  W A I T I N G                                                                         You’re in a constant state of waiting. Waiting for your next doctor’s appointment.  Waiting to get your blood work results back.  Waiting for insurance to process your paperwork.  Waiting for your next menstrual cycle.  Waiting to start the meds.   Waiting to trigger.  Waiting for bad news.  Waiting for good news. Just waiting.  And it’d all be fine if you knew for sure that after all the waiting, you’d finally get your sweet baby.
  25. P O S I T I V I T Y
  26. E X H A U S T I O N                                                                                                   All that waiting is exhausting.  You’re not just physically exhausted.  You’re mentally, emotionally, financially exhausted.
  27. L O N E L I N E S S                                                                                                 Even someone, like me, who has the biggest support system known to man can feel lonely.  It’s not that you don’t feel the love and comfort.  You do and for that you are beyond appreciative, but let’s face it-nobody knows exactly what you’re going through~not even your spouse 100%.  And that can be a lonely place.
  28. F R U S T U R A T I O N
  29. E A G E R N E S S
  30. I M P A T I E N C E
  31. A N G E R                                                                                                               You’re angry.  Not always, but sometimes.  You’re angry with yourself.  Angry at your spouse.  Angry at your doctors.  Angry at God.  Angry at the insurance company.  Angry at the complete stranger next to you complaining about being up all night with her teething infant.
  32. P A I N                                                                                                                         Both literally and figuratively.
  33. E X C I T E M E N T                                                                                             You’re excited for the next step.  You’re excited to start a new protocol.  You’re excited to meet a new doctor.  You’re excited that they retrieved some quality eggs.
  34. D I S A P P O I N T M E N T                                                                           You’re disappointed that the results weren’t different and the new medication didn’t work.  You’re disappointed that only half of the eggs were quality enough to fertilize.  You’re disappointed that it’s a day 3 transfer, not day 5 like you thought.  You’re disappointed that it didn’t work this time, but…
  35. H O P E F U L                                                                                                             that you’ll be a mom someday.
  36. D E T E R M I N A T I O N
  37. C O N S U M E D                                                                                                         All day & everyday by #ttc #ivf #baby #babynursery #babynames #pregnancy #fertility #maternitydresses #babyshowerthemes #whythef*#%amidoingthistomyself
  38. O V E R W H E L M E D
  39. D I S G U S T                                                                                                                      I vividly remember being completely and utterly disgusted when a colleague decided to announce to an entire group before a meeting how disappointed and upset she was that she was having a boy instead of a girl.  It literally made me sick to my stomach.
  40. T O L E R A N C E                                                                                                     But I had to remind myself that not everyone sees through my perspective, nor do I see through theirs.  Had pregnancy come easy for me, maybe I would’ve had the same feeling.  Probably not-but we must be tolerant of one another for nobody knows until they’re in your shoes.
  41. S T R E N G T H                                                                                                       They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  This has made you a stronger person.  Not only do you need to be strong to physically endure this, but you must also have mental strength. You probably don’t even recognize the strength in yourself, but you see it in your significant other and in your relationship.  Your bond is stronger than ever because together you’re unstoppable.
  42. C O M P A S S I O N                                                                                   Everyone has a story.  There are so many couples who have fought a harder and longer fight than we did.  You may not always be able to empathize but you can sympathize.  Through your own struggle, you’ve learned that everyone has a battle they’re fighting (divorce, addiction, Cancer). You’re compassionate enough to realize that today just might be one of their bad days.
  43. P E R S E V E R A N C E
  44. D E P R E S S I O N                                                                                         Looking back I’d have to say that there was an exact time I could pinpoint when I probably could’ve been considered depressed.  It was September.  It had been almost a year since our diagnosis and months of medicine for my husband with no change.  I was up to my knees in insurance appeals and starting another school year. My biggest fear was going back to work and seeing how many coworkers had gotten pregnant over the summer.  I was at my breaking point and I couldn’t control the tears.                                                                                                                                                                              Luckily, my best friend was attuned to me.  I never had to say anything at all.  She just knew.  She knew I needed extra phone calls and extra check-ins.  She knew I needed something outside of infertility to focus on, so we planned a vacay.  It helped get me out of my funk…a little.  Thank you & love you 😘!
  45. S T U C K.                                                                                                                       Up until that point infertility had me pretty stuck.  I didn’t want to book a flight for my friend’s bachelorette because I was going to be pregnant.  I couldn’t plan a weekend getaway because I didn’t know when my next doctor’s appointment would be.  I didn’t know what size bridesmaid dress to order in case I was expecting. I was living life in the what-ifs and it had me stuck for a long time. Funny part is that by the time I said screw it and just booked that vacation I ended up being eight weeks pregnant on the trip and sick as a dog!
  46. I N S A N I T Y
  47. S L E E P L E S S N E S S                                                                                   You’re tossing and turning back and forth unable to fall asleep because of  numbers 2, 8, 10, 16, 24, 33, 41 -hell all of them.  And you’re crying because you don’t know how much longer you can handle this and keep it together.
  48. I N S T A B I L I T Y                                                                                                   You know-the kind when you’re at a wedding on the dance floor belting out “I wish that I had Jessie’s girl” and someone leans in and says “Are you guys trying?” And you lose your sh*t, running to the ladies room while uncontrollably crying?  It’s those kind of high highs and low lows that this roller coaster that is infertility can ensue.
  49. F A K E N E S S                                                                                                                  I don’t mean this in a bad way, but like any difficult situation you have to fake it ’til you make it.  I can’t tell you since launching this how many people have said to me “I had no idea” or “I knew you had trouble, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”  It’s not that I was being secretive, but I didn’t want to be that dark cloud or elephant in the room during happy times.  It wasn’t easy to always put on a smile.  In fact, that was probably one of the hardest parts of it all, but  then I remembered #22.
  50. P R I D E                                                                                                                         You might not be there yet, but you should feel a huge sense of pride.  You should be proud of yourself and your SO.  You should be proud of how you’re juggling all of this and how you’re handling everything thrown at you.  You should feel proud because not everyone can do what you’re doing.  One day, somehow and someway, a little someone is going to be very proud to call you their mommy.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts & any other shades I should add to the list!  Just comment below!

My IVF Tips

 

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Before I even get started here let me give my big, huge DISCLAIMER: I have no medical background in infertility and by no means am I any kind of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) Guru. I am quite simply a girl who went through IVF, researched a little, and decided to take a few steps, which may or may not have made my first IVF cycle a success! Many of the tips here have no or limited scientific correlation to a pregnancy subsequent to IVF.  My train of thought, though, was if it wasn’t harmful and had led to a pregnancy for some, than why not give it a shot 💉🎯.

  1. No MSG (Monosodium Glutamate) 

The only restriction I was given from my infertility Doctor was to avoid MSG.  I figured that just meant no Chinese food, which was no biggie for me, but for my husband, would be comparable to going to the electric chair.  Seriously, though, MSG is in a lot more than you’d think.  So once I began the meds, I read every label and made every waitress swear on the Bible that there was no MSG in whatever I was consuming.  Literally, I’d look at a Tic-Tac label just to make sure.  MSG wasn’t going to mess with me.

2.  AAA (Abstaining from Aspertame & Alcohol)

Now this was a little trickier for me than the whole MSG thing and was not something I was told to do.  But AAA is my own little acronym for what I decided to do the month of my cycle and obviously the next 9 months plus!

We all know that Aspertame is not healthy for us, but like anything we shouldn’t have its so damn good.  Not having Splenda in my coffee actually made me give up my cup of joe during my cycle, pregnancy, and the majority of my year nursing.  Let’s just say I’m making up for it now.  Basically, I live off coffee and goldfish these days.

And if you think that was hard, imagine the alcohol part.  I’m not a huge drinker per say.  As one of my BFF’s mom once put it, more of a social drinker and “I’m very social!” 😝  To be quite frank, champagne and I became very well acquainted, especially during my infertility struggles.  Another pregnancy announcement…pop a bottle!  Baby shower…drink the champagne punch bowl dry!  My mantra was is kind of like “Save water, drink champagne. ” 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼  

I just felt like cleaning out my system and not having the alcohol mix with the meds was the best choice for me.  To be honest the alcohol part was easier than the coffee.

3.  Leave the Avocado, Take the Prosecco                                                                            

I decided to do a little research when it came to the point of moving forward with IVF.  Afterall I was about to inject myself with hormones and wanted to know what impact it was going to have on my body.  I must confess, I use the word research in the loosest sense.  By research, I mean mostly googling.  And good ‘ole Pinterest was flooded with this study (Link 👉🏻http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2168494/Avocado-diet-triples-chance-success-couples-undergoing-IVF.html).  That’s all I needed to read to gather my Big Y coins and shell them out on that bag of avocados.  By the way do you like my play on the Godfather’s “Leave the gun, take the cannoli”?! Nothing like a little mafia humor to keep you going.  Speaking of humor…

4.  Laughter Post-Transfer

I also researched a study that indicated that laughing immediately after transfer increased success rates.  The theory as discussed here 👉🏻 http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/31/youre-kidding-medical-clown-increases-pregnancy-rates-with-ivf/ is basically that the more relaxed a woman is at the point of transfer, the more likely the embryos will implant.

Maybe the age-old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine” is true afterall.  Regardless, I told my husband to gear up and put together a little comedy skit once our little embies were transferred.  Turns out, joke was on me.  All he had to do was tell the nurse I had him inject me with the progesterone, without changing the needle, and we were all on the floor laughing at her reaction.

5.  Acupuncture

I think acupuncture is one of those things you love or hate.  I, admittedly, was skeptical in the beginning, especially because it wasn’t like I was going to treat an ailment or quit smoking.  What I mean by that was, in the midst, I couldn’t tell if it was working or not.  When people ask me my thoughts on acupuncture, my response is always it may or may not have helped, but at least it was about an hour of relaxation each appointment.  That probably helped in and of itself.

If you’re in my neck of the woods, I’d highly recommend Craig at Kos Chiropractic in North Branford, Connectiut.  The chiropractor, Jackie, was also fabulous and uber intuitive which had me intrigued to say the least.  She’d recommend a certain colored panty to bring out my chakras and was very knowledgable about infertility and the IVF process.  They both seemed experienced and were beyond supportive.  At one point, Jackie told me to remember the number 4.  I nearly almost fell out of the car door when I received our embryology report that said 4 out of the 6 mature eggs fertilized.  How’s that for being on point?

6.  Pineapple Core 

This is a pretty common tip.  Having the core of a pineapple supposedly can enhance implantation because of a particular enzyme found specifically in the core.  For me, we cut the pineapple into fifths horizontally and I ate the pineapple and core starting on the day of transfer and four subsequent days.  I love pineapple (especially with Citron vodka 🙊) so it was fine for me.  A pineapple is a traditional symbol of “welcome” so just think of it as a way to welcome the embryos into your uterus. 🍍

7.  R & R

I’m not one to slow down, but when it came to this, I knew I needed rest and relaxation.  My egg retrieval was on a Thursday, so I decided to take Friday off.  We ended up doing a day 3 transfer on Sunday.  While I intended on taking that Monday and Tuesday off, I felt a cold coming on.  I decided to take an extra day that Wednesday.    I spent most of those days on the couch and took full advantage of being waited on.  Even when I went back to work, I tried to not go a million miles per hour like I usually did.  I worked with kids with special needs, many of whom had behavioral problems.  Therefore I was extra cautious as if I were pregnant.  Well I guess I was PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise) and luckily the otherwise never happened and I was just…pregnant!

8.  Stay Positive

I know it’s cliche and easy for someone whom IVF worked for the first time, but there’s a power in positivity.  I stayed positive because it was all I could do.  Eleven eggs were retrieved and of those, six were mature enough to fertilize.  As I mentioned before, four of the six fertilized.  At Day 3, there were still four embryos but only three were quality enough to transfer. We transferred all 3, so literally we were at the end of the road with nothing left to freeze.  At that point it was in God’s hands.

In our case, staying positive meant two things:  no googling and no testing before Beta.  Not being able to google meant less symptom spotting, less negative thoughts.  Avoiding taking a pregnancy test before Beta also was key for us.  I wasn’t testing too early and defeated not seeing the second line.

We remained as we had throughout our whole journey, cautiously optimistic.

9.  Pray

This probably should have gone a little higher on the list, but I’ll admit throughout my journey there were many times I was mad at God.  What did I do to You to deserve this?  In the end,  though, all we have is faith.  As I sat there waiting for my husband while he was in surgery, all I had left to do was pray. After our transfer, all there was left to do was pray and, just like positivity, there’s a power in prayer.

Whatever higher power you believe in will give you strength and help you endure the process.  If you’re ever in doubt that there is a God (or whomever you pray to), you’re faith will certainly be restored when you finally welcome your little bundle.  Because pregnancy and new life are nothing short of miracles from above.

I thank God everyday for our baby and this blessed life.  One day when Mikie asks and I have to explain the “special” way he was born, I will be certain to emphasize that God was key in bringing him to us .  Afterall, Michael is “he who is like the Lord”.

10.  Seek Support

There is nothing more reassuring when going through IVF than having someone who has been there.  Whether it be a friend or complete stranger, find that one person who can share their story and guide you along the way.

If you’re approaching or currently undergoing an IVF cycle and have any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out.  Even if you just need a positive word, contact me.  I’m available via email at onprayersandneedles@gmail.com or on Instagram and Facebook you can private messgage me @onprayersandneedles.

Positive Vibes & Baby Dust ✌🏼️👶🏼✨